Egg Car's Blog

2012-01-26T22:40:00.001+08:00

Exactly 1 week from now I'll be in army.
Was suppose to go eat supper with Toh but it got cancelled.
Tmr going chitann house for cny visiting then next day the guys gonna come my house then go Claudia house after that.
Looking forward to Tmr! :)

"I wonder how, I wonder why, yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky"
I'm not going to regret anything !

2012-01-19T23:24:00.001+08:00

Had a great day shopping at orchard with Toh today :) bought 2 really nice tshirts plus received a nice blue one from her :)
Went to watch contraband at lido after shopping. Decent movie.

Haiz I wish the good times never end.

2012-01-18T00:26:00.001+08:00

19 year old boy Liao!
I think if it was me back in Zhss, I would surely be looking forward to my birthday a lot. But now it just seems like another day cuz never really celebrated it over the years.
Glad that those who really remember are my closest friends :)

Hope Tmr is a good day!

2012-01-17T23:29:00.001+08:00

I sometimes wonder why friends don't take the initiative to talk, like they can't be bothered like that. :/

2012-01-15T01:54:00.001+08:00

Today go chitann house like so so only leh. Overall I was rather bored. Might be because couldn't watch the soccer matchs properly cuz the mio got problem. Haha my luck today so bad. Lost $5 from mahjong .
Never exercise today also. Tmr night gotta run. Now damn sleepy..

I wonder if like, when a friend tweets about his or her problem , and I like see le straight away go ask whats wrong, will my friend think I too kaypo?

2012-01-04T23:43:00.001+08:00

Hope Tmr is a good day! Not an awkward one.

2011-12-27T00:56:00.001+08:00

How much is too much?

2011-12-25T00:12:00.001+08:00

I'm pretty pissed right now -.-

2011-12-24T00:59:00.001+08:00

I don't think about it that much , and when I do think about it, I'm really not sure . But somehow I wish the possibility is there, but as it is right now, that door seems to be firmly shut.
So see how la.

I was looking forward to meeting Janicia today for dinner, but unfortunately she nt free, so must wait till Sunday.
Can't wait for next week! Can finally play bball! And can go orchard shop for shoes and clothes with Toh :)

2011-12-23T01:50:00.001+08:00

I hope the good times never end :)

2011-12-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

Today was a surprisingly great day :)
Went to downtown east ehub with max and RP. arcade super fun. Bowled too. And watched " we bought a zoo "
Then had dinner. Lol dunno why today just so fun.
Looking forward to the next time I go out with my wushu classmates :)

2011-12-22T01:24:00.001+08:00

Had a bad dream last night that felt super real. I was hiding under a desk while some kind of monster attacked a bunch of people.

Recently I've started to think about the worst-case scenario for my alvl results and what my future plans were.
If I can't get into nus faculty of arts, or smu social science or something . I probably will be going Australia or the uk to study .
I'm seriously very thankful that my parents are willing and able to support me in going abroad to study should the need arise.
I really admire them for planning so far ahead for their future and my future.
I was very worried the night before that my parents wouldn't be able to afford sending me overseas to study , since on average it costs about 30k plus a year in tuition fees alone.
But they assured me that it was within their means to do so.
I'm really just thankful. But personally I really hope I can get into nus faculty of arts and study Japanese studies, cuz if i go overseas, I probably won't be doing an arts major.

I'm looking forward to next week ! :)

2011-12-20T01:32:00.001+08:00

Wish I had someone to talk to :/

2011-12-18T22:11:00.001+08:00

I better not get my hopes up.

2011-12-18T21:04:00.001+08:00

Today was a great day!
Ate brunch ajisen with Toh at hougang mall. She accompanied me to make my specs at kovan after that . Glad she was there to help me with choosing the specs. :)

I had planned to take a good nap when i got home. Unfortunately, there was a Malay wedding downstairs near my block, then they were blasting so much music. Can't blame them since it's a joyous occasion for them .
Slept only like 1hr.

Gonna watch manutd match now. Hope Tmr was just as enjoyable as today( lol but I doubt so)

2011-12-16T22:37:00.001+08:00

I feel so sad. Like no one to talk to :(
I have friends like no friends like that sometimes...
Can't wait for wushu tmr.. at least got friends to talk to .

2011-12-16T22:25:00.001+08:00

I miss some of my friends, dunno if the feelings' mutual.

2011-12-16T02:32:00.001+08:00

Ah heck it la! I'm trying too hard.

2011-12-16T02:16:00.001+08:00

I don't know how I'm going to make my dream come true. Hope I can succeed before I'm 30. To do that I need 2 requirements.
I'll need a good job that pays well and also meet the right person for me.
Haiz. I've got 10 years to fulfill my dreams!

2011-12-13T20:25:00.001+08:00

Like a Lion fighting off a pack of Hyenas.

2011-12-13T00:36:00.001+08:00

Another great day today :)

2011-12-11T22:12:00.001+08:00

So damn bored...
I feel like a loafer at home sia.
Only thing that I'm looking forward to is Tmr!

2011-12-09T11:06:00.001+08:00

Ok put on hold first .

2011-12-09T01:32:00.001+08:00

There are so many things that I want to tell you.

2011-12-08T23:31:00.002+08:00

Today played bball with the guys. Had a really great time :)

Damn tired now...gonna watch modern family and then go sleep.

I'm confused because I don't know what I want. I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk it all.

2011-12-07T15:18:00.003+08:00

I wish I can go back to sec 1 . Start all over again, so that I can make things right. My memories of sec 1 is foggy, but I think I had a chance back then. If only I knew the right things to say and do. Regret man...seriously regret. Now it seems impossible. I don't even have the courage to try.

2011-12-06T12:49:00.003+08:00

Lately I've been feeling rather down. Everyday stay at home, play games watch tv only...I feel as if I've got no life like that. I yearn to meet up with my friends, but believe it or not I fear rejection. I'm pretty sian if like I ask ppl out, then they say they not free . If too many ppl tell me they're not free, then I'll feel damn sian and demoralised...

Went out with Toh yesterday! Was good fun! glad that there isn't awkward silence or anything whenever we meet even though it's been so long since we last met. :)
I never found a single friend as great as her in acjc. Thanks goodness I went to zhss!

Anyway, darryl is coming over for fifa later! lol hope i can finally win him!
And the weather is perfect for bball today sia! Sian...

2011-12-04T23:56:00.001+08:00

Sigh...
Always say met up after alvls, meet up after alvls.
But when it's really after alvls, no one really initiates anything :/
Even when I try to strike up a convo or something, it seems kinda dead...
HAiz.....

2011-11-30T00:47:00.002+08:00

Haiz. My life is over. Now I'm just praying I can get into NUS faculty of Arts and do Japanese Studies. My grades I hope is ABB. A for econs. Hopefully B for chem and math. Don't think that's very likely though...hopefully chem can get B la. I'm pretty sure math will get C. Haiz...fuck la...tuition this past 2 yrs, in the end math gonna be a C . Don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
Fuck......feeling damn depressed now. Don't know what I'm gonna do with my life if I get more than 1 c for alvls. If I can't get into facualty of arts at nus, then probably I'm gonna have to do social science at smu. Haiz Haiz Haiz...so freaking depressed. :(

Chem maybe B, likely C.
Math likely C.
Econs maybe A, but could be B.
Geog maybe B, but could be A.
GP maybe A, maybe B.
If only math didn't let me down. HAIZZ. Then my life wouldn't be this fucked up.

Wish I could get results before going army.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Suddenly don't feel as depressed le after talking to Gideon and my sis about how I'm feeling. Especially my sis cuz she convinced me that the Indictive Grade Profiles on the university websites are not really realiable.
Haiz hope its true.
Just wanna do japanese studies!

2011-11-20T21:38:00.003+08:00

Sian...I wish facebook and twitter was never invented. Then I would see my friends on msn more often. I seriously miss the good old days of just seeing a friend on msn and just saying hi for no particular reason. Sometimes I just feel so lonely when I'm home cause I've got no friends to talk to. Sms feels weird to say Hi out of the blue, and conversations can get pretty dead pretty quickly :(

Tomorrow is the last written paper for alvls. Econs paper 2. Feeling pretty confident for it. Hope I can get A .

Been reading this really really good manga called Yankee-Kun to Megane-Chan. Seriously love it! It really makes me laugh and every chapter is so enjoyable. Too bad it hasn't been fully translated yet, even though the manga has already ended in japan. Sigh...
This has become my 2nd all-time favourite manga . One Piece is 1st of course. Holyland is 3rd.
Sigh...wish there was somebody I could share all my favourite mangas with, and disccuss with them all the stories and all. So rare...

I seriously wanna learn how to read japanese, so that I can read all the raw manga out there and not have to wait for ppl to translate them to english.

I spent the whole day reading Double Dexter instead of studying econs. The book is really good!
Can't wait for the next 3 days.
Tomorrow probably going out with friends after econs paper. If not I can always just go home and play Skyrim after I get it from chi ho.
Tuesday playing bball with the guys. Wah finally man...been so damn long since we played. Just hope it doesn't rain.
Wednesday, haha nothing much actually except wushu at night. Pretty sian that I probably can't finish what I'm learning by the time I go for NS.

Bye.

2011-11-10T13:17:00.000+08:00

Did damn badly for math today. lost 30plus marks. fuck man..10marks could have been save had it not been for a careless mistake. FUCK FUCK FUCK

2011-10-06T23:56:00.002+08:00

Wasted today . Don't know how . Don't know why. Haiz..feeling damn depressed, disappointed and guilty.
Should have just gone to school... :(
Didn't go school Cuz I was damn tired and thought that I wouldnt survive a day in school.
I damn fucking sick of being tired all the time, never seem to get enough sleep , always can't fall asleep when I want to.
Want to fall asleep when I shouldn't. -.-
Feel like I've let my parents down. Let myself down.
Hope Friday will be a better day. Seriously.

Sad that school is ending :(

2011-10-04T00:23:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Westlife concert!
FANTASTIC concert! They sang almost all the songs that I was hoping they would sing.
Damn glad I went to the concert with Yan Ying. Glad to know there's someone whom I can share all the music I love with :)

Not Gonna go school tmr. Think its a waste of time. I damn tired anyway.

Bye!

2011-09-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

BOFs that spoiled my day.

2011-09-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

I will Survive.

2011-08-25T01:02:00.002+08:00

Feeling good after wushu today. Finally finished learning xuan gong quan today after 8 mths plus of learning. Proud of myself and my classmates! Can't wait for the test next week then after that can start learning how to use weapons!

Chem mcq tmr. no feel. no mood. -.- haiz...

Looking forward to the movie after that though!
Feel abit guilty going for chalet next week even though its only 1 night. But also wanna go cuz its with jc friends, not much chance for us to bond liao in the near future.

Bye.

2011-08-07T17:26:00.003+08:00

Prelims in 1 weeks time. Alvls in 92days time. Haiz...

Hope I survive somehow.

JC life ending. Haiz...SA7 is damn fun, gonna miss the class.

Sigh...sometimes I think I've got no real close friend in my life right now. Like I think we're really close friends, but sometimes I wonder if its only me thinking that way.

Aiya no time to think about this kinda thing also. Concentrate on As!

2011-07-04T21:48:00.002+08:00

Just came back from bball and dinner with the guys. Great fun as usual.
At first I considered not going so that I could have more time to do work, since past few days did nothing at all.
But glad I went to play ball. If not I bet I would have just slacked off and feel like shit at the end of the day for not doing anything again. At least having fun with the guys boost my spirits.

Got to do my sgc now. gtg.

2011-06-25T23:33:00.002+08:00

As usual. Wasted my holidays.
7weeks to prelims.
I feel scared, yet somehow i still feel that its possible...somehow.
I know I've got alot to study, stuff that I could have studied during my holidays...,
but no point dwelling in it anyway.

7 weeks. I can do it! I guess its a good thing I'm starting to panic and worry, because it really pushes me to work harder.
After that its 11 weeks to Alvls.
Come on. I can do this.

2011-06-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

I want watch james blunt concert in august!
Don't care if anybody goes with me or not la. I want get the most expensive ticket anyway.
Cost $145, but I don't really care! Its times like this that I'm thankful that I've saved money.
bye

2011-06-10T01:29:00.001+08:00

Bad day.
Not productive again. Wanted to do chem. Did like 1hour plus of studying.then just gave up completely. -.-

17days of holiday left. Better not waste tmr. I know i keep saying it, but better to hold on to some hope than non at all.

2011-06-04T23:24:00.002+08:00

Regarding previous post, I don't feel so angry no more.
I take back the stuff I said. Like I guess I shouldn't forget all their good points.
After listening to my sister's own experience with friends, I realise that they aren't that bad after all.

Shit man. Keep feeling pain at the back of my head...been a few days now.
Hope it goes away.

Going to try and run 5km during the next few days ,on the suggestion of my wushu teacher who told me to build up my stamina , so that I won't ''die'' so fast during lesson.

2011-06-03T22:43:00.004+08:00

JC friends. I enjoy the smiles and laughter.
But for some reason, I'm always not in the know, and though we have fun and all, I realise I probably am not that close to them after all.
Its like, if I were really close, then they would probably tell me all the stuff that matter to them, instead of only telling it amongst themselves.

They always leave me with question marks in my head. Like, " I don't understand why they never tell me , why I feel left out, why I feel as if there's a clique withing a clique. ''
I think the only people that make me feel not left out is darryl, marcus , nic ( not really part of the clique though) and maybe darren.
Sad.
I always compare jc friends with the bball guys ( plus claudia of course!) , both bring smiles and fun, but only one group of friends speak out loud.
That time the guys were talking on the bus about how marcus felt left out during the dinner the other day when i wasn't there.
I totally know how he feels man. Lucky he sat beside me talk last week when we went to the irish pub, if not I would have felt pretty bummed.

Like just today, they say they watch x-men already. zzz chewy say if call me go, then must ask darryl marcus nic as well. zzz marcus is overseas, darryl got driving, nic probably wont go. ( even if he decide to go, whats wrong with that?)
She sure knows how to sugar-coat and come up with creative reasons . Ask darren ok. why ask the others like me cannot?
damn lame. never think of asking others, but asked darren. if never think of asking others, then why would she say that by asking me, she would have to ask everyone else. So ya she doesn't want to ask, not that she never think of asking.

I didn't know friends leave other friends out.
Haiz...disappointed. Feeling abit sad too.

STupid friends. Hate them. I know I'm saying this right now only because I'm feeling real sore pretty hurt. but ya what I really want to say now is, I hate these friends.
Like these things irk me and piss me off. Like i'm slowly building up anger and resentment towards my own friends. I can't believe it myself but yea, its a possibility. Hopefully I'm just saying it right NOW, and that tmr this feeling goes away.

Fuckers.

2011-05-24T00:22:00.002+08:00

Midyears die. Confirm Die. Haven't studied much except for math, and its not alot even.
Chemistry haven't touch. Economics also.
Don't know why I always dig myself into this hole.
Always tell myself next time I will work harder, but never seems to be true.
Last chance now....must REALLY use my June holidays study everyday.
If not, I'm pretty sure my Alvls won't be getting any As or even Bs...

Haiz. Got to survive the last 2 days of the semester , sitting in the exam hall and staring at my exam paper...just like what I did during term exams 2+mths ago...

Really hope I don't screw up THIS TIME.

2011-05-18T01:23:00.001+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I know what I want, but I'm not doing much to work towards it.

2011-05-11T23:24:00.003+08:00

Damn Bloody Shag.

1 more week till I step down in First Aid!
Went for dinner with shimin and lydia after cca. lol one of the rare few times that we've had a meal together.
The only reason why first aid has been tolerable is because I've shimin lydia and peiling ! Great friends!

Wushu today DAMN SHAG. Especially so because of the damn weather. I think at one point I was suffering from heat exhaustion because my whole body was like burning despite all my sweating.
Whole body damn tired now.

Hope I got enough time study for spa..

2011-05-07T00:16:00.003+08:00

Sian day ended on a good note!

Sian because went to school feeling damn tired. Had econs test.
After school went to bonesetter to fix my back. Lol the guy damn pro. It was quite painful.

Went to watch Thor with Janicia at night. Movie was good. Enjoyed myself with her! look forward to our next meeting :)

Gonna sleep now.

2011-04-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

Great Job Shi Min, Lydia , Pei ling!
Didn't expect to win anything at all today!
Not only did we win the best video prize, we got 1st too!

Damn happy. Felt my performance during the case was pretty good. Reminiscent of FAC years.
Glad that most of my skills not rusty, like controlling crowd, reporting and reassuring.

Damn tired.Sian. Want sleep. Still got geog test havent study. lol die le la...

2011-04-19T00:39:00.001+08:00

Just realized how much I miss Tzinyi and Corrine . Like seriously. Was trying to sleep then I Started thinking of Zhss days, and I compared it with acjc. I suddenly recalled all the special moments I had with Corrine . The many times we walked to the interchange after school together. How we both came back sch during study break like a week before O levels chiong geog, and how we camwhored.
How I remember always chatting with tzinyi . All the good times we had. Vietnam trip and all... Though some of these memories are already becoming foggy.
I looked through all the letters and notes I got from them last time. And I immediately started to get a weird feeling in my chest. As I read each one of them, the feeling got stronger.

... I really miss these 2 good friends of mine. The friendship I have with them is irreplaceable... No one in acjc is anything like them!

I'm going to SMS them Tmr! I must take the initiative and ask them out!

I seriously miss my time in Zhss. Acjc may be fun, but it's superficial compared to my memories at Zhss!

2011-04-18T22:29:00.004+08:00

Nowadays I'm just living each day as it comes.
Life has gotten monotonous.
Its like I have no social life ...
go school still okay, TCSS with friends.
But come home I'm like a loner, don't talk to friends online as much as before le.
So sian. :( Makes me feel damn alone.
Come home either just sleep, watch tv , use com or study ( actually never really study... )

Can't wait for this long weekend. Seriously. Can finally play ball.
Tomorrow going orchard area celebrate chi ho and li yun's birthday.. So sian...must wear nice nice. Must go hougang mall buy jeans or pants. Mafan...

Then still must go orchard early buy godiva chocolate for liyun's present. Well not bad...maybe I can do some window shopping at orchard.

I should stop sianing all the time. -.-

2011-04-13T02:15:00.002+08:00

2 days in a row that I've had trouble sleeping. I think i've only slept total 5-6 hours in the past 24 hours .
Yesterday damn bloody tired cuz Sunday nvr sleep enough. Decided not to nap in the afternoon so that at night can sleep easier.
In the end I slept at 3+ am yesterday. I tried sleeping at 11am, so that means it took me 4 hours to fall asleep.
So today I decided to chiong home nap and study at night.
I slept from 4pm to 7pm. Been awake since. Same problem as yesterday...
I HATE INSOMNIA.

Fuck this la seriously. This is by far the worst week of term 2. 2 straight days of insomnia...
Tmr still got cca... Then at night still must go wushu. Dunno got time study or not...
Chem test on Thursday. Zzzzzzzzz
I look forward to wushu. But damn sian if I am damn tired when I during wushu...
Then fucking thursday still need to stay back until 6pm. Total got 1 hr of break for the whole day somemore...wtfffffff
Go home still must edit fucking cca video for submission.
Fucking hell!

I want pon tmr cannot...cuz must film the vid usin my vid cam.
Pon thursday also cannot cuz got Chem spa..chen test.
Fuckkkkk !

2011-04-10T02:02:00.002+08:00

I feel depressed.
I don't have much confidence in my studies anymore...
Saturday seems wasted... Slept the whole day because of my flu . Didn't manage to study much.
I feel like a failure :(
I feel dumb. I feel stupid.
I feel weak. I feel hopeless.
I feel sad .
I Don't know how I'm going to tackle my studies... Nothing seems to be right. I'm lagging in Every subject...
Pw results really hit me hard.
It seems that I'm not putting in enough effort...

I feel really really tired...
I hope things will get better soon cuz the mood I have right now is killing my spirits.

2011-04-09T15:33:00.001+08:00

Had a bad dream this morning. Dream that I got a B for my A lvl math. In my dream, my teacher was going through the a lvl paper answers, and I got quite a few wrong. :/
I gotta work hard and make sure bad dreams like this won't true!

2011-04-08T16:54:00.002+08:00

Got B for pw.
Feeling kinda sucks when 70% of the cohort got A for pw.
As the group leader, I also feel partly responsible for my group's grade.

Haiz...was really expecting an A.

Sian.

2011-04-03T21:09:00.002+08:00

Sian. Weekend wasted. Domino effect. Too damn tired on friday night that even sleeping till 11 the next day wasn't enough.
Only highlight of my weekend was dinner with janicia on friday. Fun! should do it more often!
Wushu was fun too. Except that my muscle now aching...

I should really follow what I write in my organiser.

2011-03-29T19:48:00.003+08:00

Fuck la....i just realised i pulled my hamstring.Today during pe I tried to stretch to the sides, and I felt a sharp pain between my thigh and my butt. Seriously hope this doesn't affect my wushu . zzz
Angry at myself.
Shouldn't have asked my friend to help me with my forward split during last saturday's lesson. Not his fault. I never tell him how much to lift up my back leg . Only when I felt a sharp pain in the nerve in the back of my thigh did I tell him to stop.
Hope this isn't permanent. I see online websites, they say it takes about a month to recover fully.
Haiz... I think I will ask Mr Ong about it tomorrow.

And my forearm has been aching since Saturday. Sian. Then today still had to do 6 sets of 3 pullups during pe. Then running was screwed up too.

Gonna study now. Make full use of my time.

2011-03-28T20:49:00.002+08:00

Here's an update on my life.
Boring...sian...I somehow don't find school as enjoyable as before.
Don't have to think too much actually.
What matters now is I need to concentrate on studying. Don't get distracted.

But still..... I'm pretty sian that so long never play ball or see the guys le. Plus claudia ofcourse.

At least for this term I end early almost everyday except wed and thurs.
Mon 1.50 , tue 2.10 , fri 1.30

Just came back from the shower. damn blur. Washed my hair with soap just now.

Haiz. I guess I just miss talking to someone close to me. Talking as in like one to one. Used to have more friends like that, but they've mostly drifted away. Then acjc also don't really have such people. Maybe there are, but there's too little time to really get to know them.
Glad I still have janicia and claudia whom I'm still pretty close with. hahaa both happen to stay in serangoon I realise.

Go do chemistry le.

31 weeks till Alvls.

2011-03-17T23:37:00.002+08:00

Sian. I seem to have wasted most of my march holidays. Nevermind. Still got Friday Saturday and Sunday which I will devote solely to chemistry. Specifically organic chem.
Past few days pretty sian. I miss all my friends :(
Sometimes I don't like the holidays because it means I don't get to see my friends everyday.

Gonna study abit and slp. cya

2011-03-06T19:54:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is my term exams. Got GP and Econs tmr.
I seriously never touch my econs at all. I just read through the notes last night.
Damn it...
Spent 2.5 hours having math tuition today. In total I've had like...6 hours of math tuition this week already. Hope it's enough.

Guess I got to last minute chiong econs tonight...haiz...

Damn it I feel sleepy...

Just 4 more days...and then I can use the march holidays to catch my breath.

2011-03-02T23:05:00.002+08:00

Just came back from wushu.
I'm stinky but I'm happy. Wushu never ceases to cheer me up when my mood's down.
I guess that's probably why I've been feeling sian almost everyday since the cny break. There wasn't wushu since cny break until last sat.

While having dinner after wushu, i told my mum my term exams next week probably cmi le.
Then she said nevermind, just make sure A lvls not like that.
Hmm yea that's probably true. I think this is like a real wake-up call.
About how tough the road to the a lvls will be.
I've seriously wasted this whole term. I need and must use my march holidays to really catch up on my subjects.

I'm seriously at an all time low. I just hope I can climb back up soon.

2011-03-02T15:18:00.005+08:00

I feel damn fucked!
I ponned school today to study math. It wasn't a success at all. So many questions I don't know how to do. FUCK. When I can do, i scared i waste my tutor's time and my time by having tuition. When I can't do, I feel damn useless and stupid. Haiz...tuition in an hour's time.

I need motivation man...

Still got chem. Still got econs. Still got geog.
I'm screwed la.
next week exams. FUCK

I hate 2011.
Hate that my studies suck.
Hate that I seem to be falling behind.
Hate that things never seem to go according to plan.
Hate that time seems to fly.
Hate that every moment I use to relax is another moment I have less to study.
Hate that I must choose between study and play.
Hate that I'm busy, friends are busy and we can't play bball as much as we used to. Hate that the Alvls coming.
Hate that this year is probably the last year that I will be able to learn wushu because I must go army next year. Hate that I can't find the time to exercise regularly.
I hate that I've drifted away from my once close friends.
I hate that I'm an underachiever.
Hate that I procrastinate.
Hate that life isn't as carefree anymore.
All these are the reasons why i truly feel my life sucks right now, more than ever before.

2011-02-26T19:08:00.001+08:00

crap. I just realised how little time I have left to study for term exams.
Panicking now...
Feeling the stress and pressure and it really sucks.

2011-02-22T22:11:00.003+08:00

Haiz damn bloody sian. Each week past by like nothing like that.
Damn sian of school. No mood nor energy to do my math.
Just hoping Friday faster come. Then sat tuition can clear all my math doubts.
Past 2 days in sch and at home have been fruitless.
2 more weeks till terms...
Chemistry haven't sit down really read and understand.
Economics also the same.
Geog just need listen during lectures.
Gp dunnid care at all.
Math got tuition...heng ah. I don't understand vectors and complex numbers..

Damn it la. If the next few months are gonna be as sucky as the past few
Weeks, I'm going to cry.
It's like the 2 weeks after cny weekend felt like the worst 2 weeks of
My jc life or something.,
I miss J1 life like mad!!! So much more free last year.
Feeling the stress this year. Not as if got alot of homework.
But the moment I don't understand a certain subject, I start to panic.
But when I try to study, i'm like totally not productive at all...
SIANNNNNNNNNN

No mood. No energy.
I'm starting to hate school for the first time in a long long while.

This Saturday resuming wushu lessons.
I like wushu, but I don't know How I will be able to cope with
It every wed and sat if I'm already struggling right now.

Good night.
W

2011-02-17T19:03:00.002+08:00

We're still good friends. But the difference now is that, I now see you guys in a different light.
I think its pretty clear how important I am to you guys. I guess our definition of friendship isn't all that similar after all .
I thought close friends share their problems with each other. Close friends trust each other. Close friends don't make each other feel left out. Close friends don't say one thing but mean another.
How close we are as friends is shown through our actions.
Disappointed because it isn't the first time that you all have kept something from me. The reasons for keeping it from me, in my humble opinion , is bullshit la seriously.

Just woke up from my nap. Aiya i actually don't care already la. like really don't care.

2011-02-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

2011-02-16T19:51:00.002+08:00

If I don't care anymore, it means I don't give a fuck anymore.

2011-02-14T17:45:00.001+08:00

Dunno why but I just had the urge to wish all my gal pals happy valentine's and tell them how much i still miss them, and still love them :)

2011-02-14T16:14:00.003+08:00

Last sat at chitann's place was great. Even though i lost $50 to blackjack, at least I got to see my close friends again.
Today's valentine's day! Thanks huiern chewy liyun claire zhiling for your gifts :)
Was quite surprised though after school today at the concourse when darryl gave liyun a jar of hearts.
I guess I'm always the last to know everything. Which is kinda sian.

I miss having someone to talk to.

Heard the song 情非得以 on the radio when I cut my hair just now.
The chorus is really how I'm feeling right now :/

...'' 只怕我自己会爱上你　不敢让自己靠的太近 ...."

2011-01-30T20:17:00.001+08:00

My dearest little nephew! Joshua :)

2011-01-30T15:45:00.002+08:00

Just came back from stella's place. Played with my cute little nephew joshua :)
He's really the cutest baby ever! Hope I get to see him on a regular basis!

Had a great time chatting with my cousin, like what were my plans for the future.
She told me it wasn't really important to be active in jc, just that in university I should take part in more planning and stuff.
That to get a job in the finance sector, you have to show the companies you have good grades and well rounded, so that it shows you are smart enough to learn. Another important thing she said was that, the skills of the job, you learn it while doing the job.
Alvin has such a great job, I want to be a financial consultant in the future too!

I really feel more motivated to excel in my studies now. So that I can live the life I want in the future. So that I can make my dream come true.

2011-01-29T19:30:00.002+08:00

In Life, it's not only the bad things and the sad things that happen.

Life also holds the good things too.

2011-01-29T14:00:00.002+08:00

For the past few weeks, I've been watching this korean drama called That Fool!
Here's a summary of it.

"Goo Dong Baek is an honest and good-hearted postman. One day he encounters with Han Ji Soo, a top celebrity. However, an ordinary man gets no chance to show his feeling to this top actress who everyone loves. Six months period of time with her elapses like a midsummer night's dream. But he cannot just end up his love like a “dream”. Shouting out love! His love has just begun."

This is by far the best korean drama i've ever watched! Past 2 weeks in sch wasn't great but thanks to this show, I had something to look forward to when I got home everyday.
Its a funny and happy kind of korean drama with a happy ending. 2more episodes to go only! Wish it wouldn't end so fast. I think if I watch it again in the future, it would still give me the same amount of joy :)

Damn tired. Just had math tuition. Looking forward to cny next week. and hopefully bball this sunday.

Chemistry and geog like shit. Math barely able to survive. Econs can understand so still ok.
Haven't even started revising past yr topics yet. Haiz...

2011-01-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

Too lazy to update blog. Simply no time. No mood.

2011-01-18T23:12:00.001+08:00

Too tired to blog a proper post. So here's a quick one.
Thanks everyone for the well wishes!
Thanks chewy chiho darren darryl nic liyun for the havianas!
Thanks for the well wishes through smses. Means a lot to me!
Thanks fa unit exco for surprising me! :)

THANKS!

2011-01-12T00:31:00.002+08:00

I think the problem is, to her I'm not someone she want to share her problems or even her joys with.
Maybe that's all there is to our friendship. Just go out once in awhile for lunch or dinner.
I just thought it was more than just that.
I guess I'm wrong then.
Feeling abit disappointed and sad. That people I've been calling my good friends in zhss seem more distant from me than ever before.
Haiz.

2011-01-12T00:04:00.002+08:00

Today was a better day. 1st half of school wasn't very good though.
Felt abit extra because I couldn't join in some people's conversations. Especially since I was sitting at the edge of the bench.
But the rest of the day was good. Played bball with josh during our 1hr break. Not bad...trained my turnaround fadeaway. Hope saturday or sunday got chance to play.

Slept at 6 just now and woke up at 945. Shiok sia.
Had a weird dream. I dream that dave told me he wanted to go poly. but his dad didn't let him. So he said he was gonna finish his alvls first then go poly. LOL

Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. Sucks man. Hope this stops soon.

Haiz. I know one thing is bothering me. Should I still care about somebody who seems so cold to me lately? I'm afraid to speak even. I asked because I care, not because I kaypo. Haiz....
My birthday coming soon. I guess I will get my answer soon enough.
Maybe all this is just one big misunderstanding???

Bye

2011-01-10T21:08:00.003+08:00

1st day of school was okay only.
Don't like the new gp teacher.
Sucky day cuz I didn't have the chance to eat at all until 3.30.

Felt pretty moody the whole day. Hope tmr is a better day.

2011-01-05T18:59:00.002+08:00

Damn its 2011 already.

Holidays about to end in a few days time. Sian...must face reality again.

I really enjoyed this long break. So carefree. So Fun.

Kinda wish I could go back to the end of ccaab camp where my holidays officially started.

Initially, the holidays was dominated by lots of fifa 11. shaun they all often came my house to play, even stayed over once. Nick also came quite often. But I don't think got so many chances le this year, since its our final yr in school already.

2010-12-23T00:41:00.004+08:00

That's me in the center!

cool photo right! the guy in the front is my teacher

Today went out for lunch at nex with kaiyuan they all. Went to kaiyuan's house play rockband after that. Quite fun.

Today was the last wushu lesson of the year. It was the most interesting lesson of all. We practiced punching and kicking on those things you see us holding in the photos.
Prior to this lesson, I was feeling pretty confident about my wushu. I thought, 6mths liao, now must be quite pro. NOT...
Turns out punching and kicking not as easy as it looks. My punches like damn weak like that, not much impact. My teacher says we must do 20 knuckle pushups everyday then add 5 after 1 month. It's to make our wrist and fist stronger.
Normally I wouldn't have the motivation to do this kinda stuff, but today's lesson really showed me how much stronger I need to be. And besides, if I don't train , I'll just suffer more during lesson.

Gonna sleep now. cya!

2010-12-17T00:33:00.003+08:00

Often or not, I sometimes just feel sian...moody....down in the dumps...sad.... for some reason. Usually it's the combination of paranoia and current events in my life.

Today is no exception.

I think when I'm feeling sian like I am now... I've got a few options to deal with it.

1. Go practice wushu - hopefully the sweat and pain will distract me and allow me to find relaxation in something I love.

2. Go listen to nice music and sing my heart out- hopefully my mood will improve somehow, or I might just end up singing sad songs, which would probably result in more self-pity.

3. Talk to someone about it , though I think I can't always find somebody to talk to all the time.

4. Go do homework/study.

I've got 3 weeks left to study math chem econs geog gp. Hmm....I hope I can make it.
Really. I don't want to start 2011 on a bad note.

2010-12-16T17:44:00.005+08:00

Chitann's bday chalet was GREAT !

Had lots of fun :)

My maid just went back indonesia, and will come back only 2 weeks later. SIAN...

2 more wushu lessons left this year. That's really fast....6mths just past like that. Glad I joined wushu!
Next year I'll be moving on to the intermediate course, which is 8mths long instead and I'll be learning harder stuff and probably more hands on fighting.

Time to start on my work...like now.

2010-12-16T17:22:00.001+08:00

Why's it always complicated?

2010-12-08T23:27:00.003+08:00

Today wushu damn xiong! 1hr 15mins without any break at all!!!!

But I survived somehow.

Tmr going cage, then going out with acjc ppl. :)

2010-12-08T02:42:00.003+08:00

Glad its over. :)

Feels different somehow.

And I gotta stop complaining infront of my friends!

2010-12-08T02:42:00.001+08:00

Glad its over. :)

2010-12-08T01:40:00.003+08:00

Haiz........
What do you do when somebody you care about say this about you.

I thought we are different from others but no, I was wrong. I thought we could still go out have lunch once you asked me out but no, I don't wish to anymore. I thought you've changed but no, you didn't. It's still YOU.

Always like this. She's angry at me for dunno what reason. Always the same old reason.
I'm always left clueless as to what I did wrong...
Plenty of times I've just ate humble pie, and said sorry for whatever I did, not knowing what I did.
Many a times I wonder is it really me who's done something wrong, or is it just her being oversensitive.

Today, I thought she just needed time to cool off. But then I saw what she wrote on facebook.

I really feel like crying right now, because a friend I really care about doesn't wanna be my friend anymore.

Is life this cruel?

2010-12-05T01:01:00.002+08:00

Just came back from my cousin's wedding. Glad to see my whole extended family again. The next time I will see them again is probably CNY. Can't wait for that.

Seeing the bride and groom at the wedding just now, I wondered if my turn would come 10years or so from now. Then I started to wonder what my life in the next 10 years will be like...the people that I'll meet, the new experiences, and when will I meet that special someone.
I have many questions in my head about what life will be like in 2020.

Will I still be close with the bball guys?
Will I still be in contact with acjc ppl? sjab ppl?
What kind of job will I have? lol or will I have a job?
Will I have a girlfriend?
What will my family be like?
Who will be my close friends?
Will I be poor ? Will I be rich?
Will I even live to see 2020?

Here's a rough timeline of the next 10years.

18 yrs old ---> 2011: A Levels, Graduate from ACJC
19 yrs old --->2012: Army
20 yrs old --->2013: Army
21 yrs old --->2014: University
22 yrs old --->2015: University
23 yrs old --->2016: University
24 yrs old --->2017: University/Working
25 yrs old --->2018: Working
26 yrs old --->2019: Working
27 yrs old --->2020: Working.....

Here's what I want to have by the time I'm 30 years old.
A stable job that pays well and isn't some cubical job. A girlfriend. A car. Enough money to buy a flat. Get married. Have children.
That's the dream anyway...oh ya I haven't forgotten. I wanna take a sea-side train in japan with my future soul-mate !
In order to do all those stuff, I need to work hard...study hard...and everything.
First need to get ALL As for A lvls...then go good university...get good grades again. And finally somehow find a job and climb my way to the top.

The next 10years of my life will determine how I live the rest of my life!

2010-12-02T00:02:00.003+08:00

Today wushu was quite xiong. Left 6more lessons only.
I think I've improved quite alot and I'm really proud of myself! I can do front split on my right leg and I can bend my back backwards and reach the ground! ( its called xia yao )
I feel damn good after each lesson! I feel fitter and more healthy and through wushu I sorta know how to fight now!

It's December already. 1 month left to do homework and catch up on all the topics that I not sure of this year. Don't wanna screw up again.

I kinda miss sa7 . Seldom see most of them now. Everyday is a fun day with them.

Gonna slp now. cya!

2010-11-21T13:22:00.002+08:00

I'm never going to play bball so hiong on saturdays anymore!
Yesterday played bball too hiong, then my whole body cramped up during wushu. Sucked!

Holidays now pretty boring...seldom get to see AC ppl liao. Hopefully next week can go out or something.

Today went for breakfast with Toh. Glad to see her after such a long long time :)

Gonna nap now. cya!

2010-11-13T01:04:00.002+08:00

Going camping from sat to tuesday. hope it will be fun...as fun as dinner today with the guys + claudia :)

gtg slp le. just finished packing only. cya!

2010-11-08T01:00:00.002+08:00

The past few days has been terrific. Thursday after school at josh's house was damnnn fun!

Friday was like the highlight. Went to play bball with the guys + claudia , though I kinda lost my form again. But dinner was great, we tapau from chomp chomp go chitann house eat. Laughed ALOT and I had a great time :)

Saturday and sunday wasn't productive at all though. I've been procrastinating everyday. I never do any work even though my pw script is my ONLY work. Just finished it, and its 1am monday. -.-
I know its irresponsible of me , especially since I'm the group leader, but I'm just drunk with holiday mood already.

I haven't memorized my script even! Haiz. Hope things will work out some how la.

2010-11-04T00:26:00.002+08:00

Today I learned a valuable lesson.
Think before I speak and never take your friends for granted.

Hate it when I anyhow shoot my mouth and hurt my friends' feelings. =x
Not the first time that it has happened to the people around me. Hopefully its the last time ( lol probably not though...)

Shit man..I haven't done my script for op practice tmr yet. And its almost 1am -.-
And I am damn bloody tired!!!

SIAN!

Can't wait for the weekend!

2010-11-02T22:03:00.004+08:00

Damn tired right now.
Haven't really done my op script properly yet. =x
Glad that chewy and Darryl made it to next year. I somehow knew nothing bad would happen to them.

Damn tired. I'm going to slp now. Nothing much on my mind anyway.

2010-10-27T22:46:00.003+08:00

Just got back from wushu. Initially I didn't wanna go today again cuz I ate my lunch too late and i was damn full! But glad I went because all the sweating and training helped get my mood back to normal.

Fk PW la, spoil my mood. Spoil my day. Spoil my week.
Sometimes friends do things they think its minor but matters alot to me actually. Like waiting for you to go home together?
I told chewy I go refill water bottle, then when I came back, she was gone already with amanda and celine. -.-
Here's how I felt: hurt that my friend just completely forgot about me. To me, it means I'm not important to this friend. When someone I care about doesn't really care about me.

Felt anger too, because being hurt makes me want to hurt that person back. But pretty much nothing I could do...thankfully after sleeping on the train ride home, I felt much better.

2010-10-24T22:53:00.002+08:00

Sian...I procrastinated and now I haven't done my I & R , ppt slides and script for op yet -.-
Its about 11pm now... die....

BBall was fun as usual. Sigh...I really hope Darryl and Chewy can get promoted or at least Advance. I will be really sad if I don't get to see them next year =x
Hope the whole class can promote together...

Gonna pw now...cya.

2010-10-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

Very long nvr update.

Today wasn't the best day I must say. I feel kinda sian for some reason :x
Angst and sian pretty much most of the day.
Past few days pretty happy though. Its like a gravity, what goes up must come down sooner or later i guess.

Didn't feel like going for wushu today at first because I was pretty tired and had alittle headache. But I'm glad I did! Because I made quite an improvement during today's training!
proud of myself :) I can bend my back backwards and touch the ground with my hands! too bad I can't get up after I do that cuz I too fat!

Friday get back promo results. Hope I can pass everything.

I hope tmr is a better day than today. I don't want to be sian. I want to be happy.
Hope pw can settle everything tmr!

Sometimes the even ppl that make me happy can make me feel sian and left out.

2010-10-04T22:21:00.002+08:00

In the middle of promos right now.
GP paper 1 was good, paper 2 not so good.

Econs was okay. Did use up all my writing paper. Just hope I can get B , at most C.

Sigh. I feel like a fool. Shouldn't have given myself false hope.
Smsed her after the papers today, asked her how was econs, but she never reply =x
Either she didn't receive it ( which is unlikely) or she just didn't wanna reply ( which is more likely).

Whatever la. I don't care for now la. At least I try better than never try at all.

Can't wait for promos to end!
Gonna buy dead rising 2 play, and cant wait for bball during weekend!

2010-09-21T21:28:00.002+08:00

I think she's not really interested in me that way. Maybe not now. I dunno. Now isn't really the time for this kinda stuff anyway.
Just abit disappointed i guess, but it isn't the end of the world. Just gotta be myself and let nature take its course.

2010-09-14T00:29:00.003+08:00

It's been ages since I last blogged.

Time sure is fast this year...its term 4 already. 3more weeks till promos. I can kinda feel the holidays at my feet already.

1st day of term 4 was pretty good. Felt pretty happy today. Mainly because I pushed out most of my negative thoughts. I hope I have a positive outlook in life everyday, then my days will seem more enjoyable.

Talked abit with tzinyi on facebook today. Wow...can't believe how much I miss her. The past few months would have been easier to survive if I had a close friend like her by my side.

Gone are the good old days.

Found this on

keying's blog.

" Ate and talked. Then dunno why, somebody asked, "Do you think we still can sit together and eat like now in 10 years time?"

Then waaa sad max sia. Claudia said she might go overseas for further studies, Huafei going back to china, and I might go back HK too D: Like everybody is leaving after we completed our studies! Like really, I started to wonder 10 years down the road, can we still gather together and play bball? :( Scully everyone must fly back once a year just to play a game of bball together."

10 years down the road I still want to be able to meet up with them and play bball during the weekends. It would be a shame if we didn't meet up any more for bball. :x

Glad that this sunday will be playing bball again, then after that we will go chitann house watch manutd vs liverpool !
Can't wait!

2010-08-22T13:36:00.004+08:00

Despite having a crapload of work to do, I went for the esix bbq yesterday anyway.
It was fun! =) Long time never see them le.
Nostalgic...remembering our secondary school days.

JC is really too fast...soon its going to be the end of the year already, and I'm going to take my promos and pw exam, then next year its going to be the alvls and army after that.

Sigh....what happened to all those carefree days?

I really really miss secondary school life alot. I know its no use crying over spilt milk, but deep down inside me, I regret not going to ajc instead with shaun pek and the rest. Had I gone there, I would've joined the same cca as them, then at the very least I would still have that part of my secondary school life still with me. It's not that acjc isn't good, its just that maybe ajc could have been better.

But at least I still get to play bball and watch soccer with them every now and then. Sigh...but as we all get busier, we probably won't have time for these kinda stuff in the near future. I think, if I've learned anything , its that I got to treasure the time I have with the people around me. That means making full use of my time with acjc friends.
Right now I need to focus on my studies!

cya!