JC friends. I enjoy the smiles and laughter.
But for some reason, I'm always not in the know, and though we have fun and all, I realise I probably am not that close to them after all.
Its like, if I were really close, then they would probably tell me all the stuff that matter to them, instead of only telling it amongst themselves.
They always leave me with question marks in my head. Like, " I don't understand why they never tell me , why I feel left out, why I feel as if there's a clique withing a clique. ''
I think the only people that make me feel not left out is darryl, marcus , nic ( not really part of the clique though) and maybe darren.
Sad.
I always compare jc friends with the bball guys ( plus claudia of course!) , both bring smiles and fun, but only one group of friends speak out loud.
That time the guys were talking on the bus about how marcus felt left out during the dinner the other day when i wasn't there.
I totally know how he feels man. Lucky he sat beside me talk last week when we went to the irish pub, if not I would have felt pretty bummed.
Like just today, they say they watch x-men already. zzz chewy say if call me go, then must ask darryl marcus nic as well. zzz marcus is overseas, darryl got driving, nic probably wont go. ( even if he decide to go, whats wrong with that?)
She sure knows how to sugar-coat and come up with creative reasons . Ask darren ok. why ask the others like me cannot?
damn lame. never think of asking others, but asked darren. if never think of asking others, then why would she say that by asking me, she would have to ask everyone else. So ya she doesn't want to ask, not that she never think of asking.
I didn't know friends leave other friends out.
Haiz...disappointed. Feeling abit sad too.
STupid friends. Hate them. I know I'm saying this right now only because I'm feeling real sore pretty hurt. but ya what I really want to say now is, I hate these friends.
Like these things irk me and piss me off. Like i'm slowly building up anger and resentment towards my own friends. I can't believe it myself but yea, its a possibility. Hopefully I'm just saying it right NOW, and that tmr this feeling goes away.
Fuckers.
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