I'm stuck in the past.

"Even if it's just a moment, I'm gonna burn so bright and red, I'll dazzle everyone. And all that'll be left is pure white ash..."
- Ch130 Bakuman

Finally Completed my first week at my new vocation. Sibei shag. Working hours like crap. I was really really emo on Monday when I found out what my work schedule would be like.
How my dad would have to travel 30 mins to fetch me home, and another 30 mins to fetch me back to camp. How little time i would have to get tuition and study.
How I would seldom get to spend time with my friends and family. On tuesday night when I booked out for a few hours, I went to visit my ahma. As I spoke to her, I had the sudden realization of how old my ahma was and that I wanted to cherish every moment spent with her. I seriously got damn sad and started to cry. I cry for the above myriad reasons.
I thought I was in the worst possible shit ever.
But thanks to my family's encouragement, I felt better. My ahma told me about all my male relatives and how they too suffered in ns last time. My dad told me to just treat this as a chance to toughen myself up. I think so too. I've never really suffered much in my life. At least through this, I'll experience a fraction of the suffering my dad,uncles and cousins went through . Experience an even tinier fraction of the suffering my parents went through when they were young and led unsheltered lives.

I'm gonna keep fighting!

A Night out with friends.

Went out with Darryl Darren nic chino liyun and chewy yesterday. Watched Madagascar 3! Hilarious movie :) it's happy movies like this that make me forget about all my stress for awhile.
We went to eat at this Mexican place at Chijmes after that. Then we walked all the way to orchard road. Ate some finger food at taka basement, then went to coffee bean to chill.
Seriously miss their company. Miss Walking aimlessly around town with them , just talking and enjoying the moment, forgetting all our troubles.
I really miss my jc life!
Hope I can meet them again soon!

I wonder if my weekends in the future are always going to be like this. Me always running away from my problems. Slacking off. Contemplating my future. Feeling insignificant, feeling depressed, feeling as if my life is fucked up and beyond hope. Feeling sorry for myself .
And then people tell me how lucky I am that I don't have to worry about paying for local or even overseas education.
Sometimes I'm really thankful for blogger. Writing how I feel on this blog , makes me less troubled. Even if nobody reads it, even if I seldom read my old posts haha. It feels good.

I really don't like my buddy at k9 unit course. Sarcastic, whole day think I slack off. Cannot tank sia. Hope I don't go same unit as him next time.

Going to study now. Bye!